March 28, 1922 - April 12, 2009

Shelby, Me, Grandma Leck, Grandpa leck Aug. 07


This post has been pretty difficult for me to put on here or even write about because I think I am still in shock or denial. This Easter Sunday my 87 year old Grandpa past away. He was diagnosed with cancer in his kidneys, liver, and possibly his pancreas 10 days before he passed. The doctors wouldn't give him a time other than "it could be 2 days, 2 weeks, or 2 months".


Many of you know I was born on my grandpa Lecks birthday so I feel that I have always had a special bond with him and he with I. We have celebrated our Birthday together for 27 years; many times even traveling to have a combined "party". I know I haven't been as close since I have been out of the house, but I always look forward to hearing from him on March 28th!


I was really trying to go see him one last time, but with my own health it just wasn't in the cards; in fact my mom flew in just hours after he passed away. I have a lot of guilt and a lot of sorrow for this decision to not be there for him when he needed me most. I know he wasn't too coherent, but at least I could have held his hand and told him I Loved him one last time. I was going to write him a letter to tell him, but I didn't do that in time either. The other thing that is so aggravating to me is that I was to sick to talk to him on our Birthday so I didn't even do that. Plus I have ALWAYS saved his birthday cards that he sends me every year until I get the next years so that I have the last card he ever wrote to me. Again I don't have that, for some unknown reason I guess it got thrown away. The other thing that is difficult for me is that he had in his will that he wanted to be cremated and not have any type of funeral service; while I respect his wishes I do have a hard time that I won't be able to say goodbye and see (at least his body) for the last time. This blog is kinda just rambling but I am sobbing to hard to really think about what I am typing, so I am just trying to write whatever comes to mind (as you can see I have a lot coming to mind).

I know that I will get to see him again and I know that it will better than it was hereon earth, but sometimes that doesn't make me feel any better. I loved my Grandpa despite all his quirks and I will miss him. One thing I do remember that he wrote in my Birthday card is "Annie- I have always loved you more than anything or anybody in this world and I hope you know that! Please bring those beautiful girls of yours and your handsome hubby to see your old gramps...soon." Well I am sorry I didn't make it Grandpa, but I will bring them all to see you later...I promise!